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by Uncle Tomo

The Magical Village of Brockenhurst

In the magical village of Brockenhurst

The donkeys do roam free

Out amongst the cafes and shops

It’s a beautiful place to be

If you’ve ever driven through Brockenhurst

You’ll know that the donkeys are king

They stand in the street and chat with their friends

They won’t even move for a Mercedes-Benz

Then when spring comes the babies are born

and quickly they learn to chatter

But last year a foal was born

who wanted to run, not stand and natter

Off he danced all down the street

But he wasn’t too stable on his feet

Wobbling left and wobbling right

He swerved down the road and out of sight

Honk honk, his mother did shout

As she ran in pursuit to make him stop

Honk honk the cars did hoot

As they screeched to a halt on the spot

“What is this nonsense” cried the Mayor

But the little donkey didn’t care

He continued to hop and skip and jump

With some luck without a bump

And then we heard the sound we feared

Skidding tyres and a mighty thump

But when his mother caught up she smiled

For in one piece, was her child

The Mayor however wasn’t so happy

When he saw what made the thud

His wife had driven his limousine

Through a fence into a pool of mud

His face went red and he started to sweat

And steam was rising from his head

He huffed and puffed and stomped his feet

And summoned an officer on the beat

“It’s the donkey’s fault” he told the Police

“Arrest him now and put him in prison”

But the policeman laughed and said to the Mayor

“The donkeys are free and without a care”

And so the Mayor’s wife had to buy a new fence

and pay for the garage to fix the dents

The Lymington Times put her on the front page

And the headline read “Mayor in Donkey Crash Rage”

Honk honk, the baby did shout,

Now he was free to run all about

And so it went on for the rest of his days

He’d skip around the town while the others did laze

So if you should come to Brockenhurst

Be careful how you drive

Because this is the place where the donkeys roam free

And it’s the car drivers job to keep them alive.


Far away beyond the sea

And over the mountains with the crooked tree

There‘s a land like nothing else you’ve seen

So different from every place you’ve been

They call this place the Land of Stripes

With everything bright from the floor to the pipes

Stretching as far as the eye can see

Every stripe there is as straight as can be

Stripes of orange and green and red

And white and grey and yellow and blue

Everything there is a feast for the eyes

They have every colour you ever knew

The stripes are made by pixies and elves

But they’re far too big to carry by themselves

So they’re hauled away by a zebra herd

Who follow the route of the stripy bird

But one day a crisis broke out

“We’ve run out of space!” A pixie did shout

Production was stopped in the stripe factory

As they couldn’t fit in even a small stripy bee

“What can we do?” the pixies cried

“Keep squeezing in” they tried and tried

But it was no use and they nearly gave up

When they heard a bark from a stripy pup

The puppy had a cunning plan

But he’d need the help of a pixie man

They pushed and pulled, and twisted and turned

And through their strength more space they earned

For up in the sky the stripes were curved

Giving them all what they deserved

For the stripes were high up in the sky

Seen from Perth to Hay on Wye

They had not just made some extra space

They had told the world about their place

And across the globe we all would know

The stripy people made the rainbow


There’s a mole and he’s out of control

jumping up out of his hole

He runs across the garden,

He runs across the fields,

And he runs along the river bank

There’s a mole and he’s out of control

And his name is Frank


It was not long that we’d lived in our home

When at the front door was a shrivelled old gnome

He looked up and said “I’ll live in the porch”

“But leave the light on as I don’t have a torch”

“You probably think that I’m off my trolley”

“But give it a month and you’ll be thanking Wally!”

So he set up camp by the glow of our light

And pulled his hat over his head to sleep for the night

When the sun came up he was still sitting there

Wide awake and eating a pear

We thought he’d probably move on soon

But a month went by without him changing his tune

On the front of our house he painted a sign

It said “No cold callers. £50 fine.”

I frowned at him sternly, not happy at all

There was no way a sign could stop a salesman’s call

But Wally assured me the sign would work well

For cast upon it was his front door spell

“It welcomes your friends to come in and have fun”

“But the men selling windows will turn and run”

I told him I thought his idea was flawed

But he said “This is why the gnomes are adored”

Sure enough, Wally was right

Months went passed without a salesman in sight

When our friends came they would smile at out gnome

Lovingly guarding the front of our home

And we never did know why he chose us that day

But we were glad that Wally was here to stay

Strawberry Monsoon

The summer was long and hard for the mice

With days so hot and the streams ran dry

So every night when they went to bed,

They dreamed of the rains that would cool their heads

Then early one morning when the mice were still in bed,

A cool breeze waffled down into their den

Daddy mouse woke and said “The monsoon is here”

But something felt different from the monsoon last year

The air was refreshing that’s for sure,

But it also smelled fruity as it came through the door

Daddy mouse knew that something special had come,

so he woke Mummy mouse and said “Can you smell plum?”

She leapt out of the bed and said “What’s going on here?”

We dreamt f the rain and now something else is here

So they woke the baby mouse and went outside to see,

What was making the air smell so fruity

When they got out, it all became clear

Baby mouse said “It’s my dream this year”

You get what you wish for and his wish came true.

And he looked all around at the spectacular view

In every direction the clouds were red

And the mice ran for cover as strawberries fell on their head

The land became sweet and the streams filled with juice

And they waded through puddle of strawberry mousse

Baby mouse looked smug, he knew it would come soon

For all summer long he dreamt of a strawberry monsoon.

The Mighty Sprout

One day in spring there was a strong breeze

A sudden gush like a pony's sneeze.

It blew up in the air, a very small seed,

Who came from a plant that we call a weed.

Up, up, away it flew,

Over the ocean to lands anew.

Then down it came to a field all lush

And into the soil of organic mush.

There it found a happy place

with rain and sun and so much space.

Up,up, away it grew,

Out of the ground towards sky blue.

Then along came a mouse

So curious was he

To find such a big plant so suddenly

"Who are you" said the little mouse

"I can see you all the way from my house"

Down to the mouse, the plant turned his stalk

Wondering if he knew how to talk

Then out of nowhere a loud voice came,

"I am the mighty sprout, and that is my name!".

The Boy with a Basket on his Head

There was a boy with too much hair,

He needed it cut but he just didn't dare

So his hair kept growing, it just didn't stop

And started to look a bit like a mop

"Get your hair cut" his mother told him

But too scared was he, to go for a trim

So his har kept growing, and started to curl,

And started to look a bit like a girl

"Enough is enough, you must get it cut!"

He just looked at his Mum and kept his mouth shut

And so it kept growing, it never did rest

And started to look like a bird's nest

"If you don't get it cut I'll tell your father

And that will be worse than going to the barber"

But it wasn't enough to make the boy go

Ad what to do next they just didn't know

Then in the mirror the boy did look

And what he saw there he surely mistook

For standing there all dressed in red

was a little boy with a basket on his head..

The Fish and the Wish

Swimming the stream was a little blue fish

Who met a fish fairy who gave him a wish

Use your wish wisely, you won't get it twice,

She said to the fish, being firm but nice

Long and hard the fish did think,

Then shouted at the fairy, "I wish I was pink"

Before you could blink there was a big flash of light

Almost blinding the fish, it was so bright

When the light went out the fish was still blue

He looked at the fairy and said "Toodle Doo"

You see the fish's memory was not very long

It wouldn't even last the length of this song

So the fish never knew that his wish wasn't true

And went back to being just happy and blue

Enjoy the Flight

Have a good journey on your flight

Watch lots of movies through the night

When morning comes, they’ll bring you yucky food

But try to enjoy it and be in a good mood

Your legs will be cramped and your seat belt kept on,

You’ll ache like you’d just run a full marathon.

But you try to relax and block out the hum,

As you know that there will be good things to come.

You were the one that booked the flight

And you knew you’d be on it overnight

So remind yourself of where you’re heading

As its surely much more exciting than Reading

And when you arrive you’ll have a grin on your face

As you’ll have arrived in your favourite place.

The Crazy Pigeon Lady

In every city across the world

is a square where tourists flock

And in that square you'll surely find

Pigeons pooing on a famous clock

Watch those pigeons and soon you'll see

that they'e all in love with the pigeon lady

For when she comes with hands of seed

The pigeons know it's time to feed

They'll swoop and duck and scare you silly

Trying to be the first on the pigeon lady

They sit on her arms and head and back

As she throws out a load from a dirty old sack

No one knows from what brings her here

Or why she is such a strange old dear

But when you go down to that square

You know that you will see her there

The Life and Times of the Gogobitty Tree

There was a young tree who was friends with a bee

and he lived in a pee on the edge of the sea

His daddy was green and his mummy was pink

and they taught him to swim so he never would sink

Along came a gypsy from far far away,

who was spending her life on a long holiday

She looked at the tree and called "Gogobitty!"

he jumped up and down and said “hey hey that's me!”

So the gypsy girl made friends with the tree

and they sat down together and stared out to sea

They watched the fish swimming and saw the birds swoop

they even witnessed a killer whale poop

It was all so much fun he said “please stay with me”

so she snuggled down there and lived with the tree

The sun would come up and the sun would go down

but when they were together they never would frown

Because friendship is special and better than work

and if you forget that you must be a jerk


by Uncle Tomo

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